Earth Day

Yesterday I learned how to use a chainsaw, and cut down trees - even then cut them into firewood and stacked it. I then learned how to turn on the tractor, and drive it (both forwards and backwards) and hooked it up to the stump of one of the trees I cut down and ripped it up (exposing an ugly, muddy hole).

And all of this occurred on Earth Day. How ironic. I justify it by the fact that these things HAD to happen in order for me to live a "green" lifestyle in an off grid cabin.

Also, I have to say that it was completely empowering. All - "I am woman, hear my chainsaw roar." Today I had the thought of having a Rosie the Riveter image burned into the wood of my front door. Ha.

Aladdin

Yesterday Dad told me that he's going to start his porches soon, and when the concrete truck comes up he wants me to be ready to pour my pillars. So today I'm not working - it's close to 60 degrees outsdie, it's 8:30 am (probably a bit later now) - and I'm thinking I may sew. Ridiculous.

Also, dad ordered me an Aladdin Lamp for my birthday - super exciting, however it's not going to necessary if I don't actually work.

start

from my leather-bound physical journal:

I was going to buy a new journal as I couldn't quite bring myself to write in this one from *that* time. But then I figured it was good for context - turning a leaf, rebirth, healing, etc. Sure sure. On to a new struggle - after this, it'll be another. Ha.

The current struggle - for independence? For maturity? (Ha.) for the fulfillment of dreams? Or simply a struggle against myself (that's highly simplistic - and not at ALL dramatic). The tangible "struggle" - that of my cabin. I'd just decided I was fed up with not having my own space and was going to move into the mule shed...the day after that dad says, "You know there's no reason you can't start your cabin now - clear the land, stake it out, dig your holes and pour your pillars." So easy. Sure sure. Bye bye quick fix of "practicing off-grid living" in the mule shed...hello reality of starting the dream - and I've stalled. Now that I've got the go-ahead...I'm doing nothing. Typical. I have all kinds of excuses of course: It's cold. I dislike Spring. Grace simply cries too much for me to accomplish anything besides playing with her (which I don't do well enough - enter mother guilt). I'm too tired after cleaning rooms all day. Goodness...